Dear Ted,
I am glad you learned how to use email: it's hard and we all make mistakes.
Now quit your deceptive email marketing.
What are you talking about you say?
Lesson 1: I never opted into your email newsletter. Just because you put an opt-out doesn't make it OK to subscribe me. If everyone operated in this way we would all get even more spam. Do you know why all those email services that handle it professionally do double opt-in? Because people hate your spam.
Lesson 2: Thanks for at least personalizing it. I normally go by Kevin but 'Dear %%FIRSTNAME%% %%LASTNAME%%,' will do I suppose.
(Click to Enlarge)
Lesson 3: 'RE:' means REPLY, as in I SENT YOU SOMETHING. You email another one of my email accounts (whois email) that never opted into your system with this deceptive title 'RE: Fresh Techniques to Maximize Your PPC Income.' What the *%#$ is this? You are pretending that I actually emailed you requesting this information? This is the marketing tactics used by spammers, anything to get someone to open their email.
(Click to Enlarge)
In conclusion, stop spamming us. We get enough of it already, I don't need your crap in my inbox as well. If you want to email me, send me a personal email, not your full spammy newsletter that I never wanted or ever opted into. Actually, Ted, Don't email me ever unless it's an apology and a promise you and your company won't send out emails like this ever again.
Thanks,
Kevin Ohashi